I was raised by rabid wolves and survived for years on the restless souls of the damned. I'm capable of shooting laser beams out of my fingertips and I sweat hundred dollar bills. I have a smile that burns brighter than a thousand suns and abs that deflect bullets. I served in the revolutionary war and was almost killed but I tripped and fell into a wormhole transporting me into present day. I now spend my days being paid simply for existing and continuing to be ridiculously good looking. I'm the coolest person I know and I know a lot of people.
